Brawny Man

I was SO against dating websites because I meet a lot of people out and about on my own. But after consulting girlfriends and a couple of nights of self-inflicted drinking, I said “fuck it!” I really have nothing to lose and much more to gain. I’m tired of meeting a new hottie that I want to get to know, only to find that he is somehow acquainted to someone in my past. San Francisco, is truly a BIG city on the West Coast, but GOOD GOD it can be so small. Anyways, for the next 6 months, the online dating world is my answer to meeting guys outside of my many San Francisco social circles.

What intrigued me about this guy was that he was cuuuute 🙂 Let’s be real. With online dating, initially all I have to work with is very one-dimensional…pictures, profile, and email. That’s it! His profile seemed interesting. I personally thought he was throwing a lot of fluff in there to see who would bite, but nonetheless it was his tall, dark, and handsomeness that made me go in for a taste. So after a couple of emails, to ensure he wasn’t crazy, he asked me to dinner. Dinner? Hmm… albeit a good thing he wants to have dinner with me, drinks might have been better in case I needed to abort mission. But dinner, sure, why not?

I was excited to meet up in person. I’ve gotten advice to not develop an email relationship with him because I may create false expectations. Plus, I’m more likely to knock his socks off in person 🙂 Really though, let’s just get right to it. We’re all busy! I certainly don’t have time to constantly email. Let’s just meet in person and see if there is chemistry.

The DATE: (DUN DUN DUN!):

Jumped out of my cab at 7:00 PM exactly. He was outside to greet me and commented on what great timing we both had. My first thought was, “thank GOD you look like your picture!” Well, he’s a lot more brawny then I expected, but I guess it’s proportional to his skyscraping height of 6″4. Skyscraping relative to me since I’m a whopping 5’3. Regardless, his picture is fairly accurate and not from 10 years back. Phew!

Conversation throughout dinner was flowing nicely. There were some silent moments, but nothing unusually awkward, at least for myself. I do find it strange going on a pseudo-blind date. I’m new to this after all. It’s very much like an interview process with all the wonderful generic questions. What do you do? How long have you lived here? What neighborhood do you live in? What inspires you? What’s your social security number? You know, all those great first time questions. Anyways, the check comes and he actually offers to pay for the whole thing. Brownie point! I offer to split, and he tells me, ” Ok, I’ve learned not to insist.” Whaaaat?, as I’m slowing repealing the few brownie points he’s gained throughout the night. I personally think he should have at least tried to insist once. Granted, there are two sides to this, I probably should not have offered to pay half, but really he didn’t even try. Whatever! In my book he lost brownie points for not even trying.

Ended the night with him offering to drive me home. I was comfortable enough to have him know which San Francisco street corner my apartment was on and shoot, it earned him one point for saving me a cab fare. Cabbed it to his place first to get his car and he thought it might be inappropriate to invite me into his place. Ah! So Brawny man is trying to redeem himself by trying to pull a chivalrous act, that just earned him another hash mark. Gave him a hug to end the night and said thank you…till next time.

Date grade for the night: C+

Key takeaways:
1. So far this online dating thing…not so bad.
2. If a guy offers to foot the whole bill, let him.
3. Next time meet for drinks or coffee, save the dinner date for the second date.

Follow-up:
The next day, Brawny man texts me to say hello and asks how I thought our date went. So I told him it was a nice first online dating experience. Why? I ask. He said he’s inherently curious and never afraid to ask the “tough” questions. Oh…ok.

New Year’s Eve:

Text message:

Dec. 31, 2009

6: 44 PM – BM: Happy New Year . 🙂

6:45 PM – HS: Happy New Year to you too ___!

Jan. 1, 2010

12:55 AM – BM: Where are you? Where are you?

1:31 AM – HS : Still out! At Swank.

1:32: AM – BM: Will you be stopping by?

OH MY GOD! (And of course I’m still partying and sharing this whole text correspondence with all my girlfriends). What A JERK ! After one date, he has the nerve to ask me to come over for some late night bootie to ring in the new year! OH HELLLL NO! I didn’t reply to him. I hope he feels like a big A**hole for that one. What gives him the right to ask ME for some bootie? He was likely drunk, but that’s no excuse for his poor manners. Aren’t most people on their best behavior in the early stages of developing a relationship, apparently not so. According to my guy friends there is a fifty-percent chance that I would’ve said yes, so he decided to get ballsy and go for it. Psssh! And he tried to be a gentleman the first time by saying it was “inappropriate” to see his place, whatever! His place was probably a slobbering mess and not “sex” appropriate. Anyways, he text me again last night to see if I was out and about in the city. I was busy and didn’t reply. Oh well for that guy, he kinda blew his chances.

Now, would I go out with him again? Maybe, after a lot of persistance. But I’ve already thrown him into the “friend” category. So if we do get out again, let’s just see how he get’s himself out of that situation. Usually when a man is put into the “friend” category, it’s kind of hard to get himself out. At least in my book.

Question: Am I supposed to feel instant chemistry? Can you still pursue a successful relationship without feeling instant chemistry? Is chemistry something that can grow into something later?

Final Date Grade: F